>> the weight of you
Jul. 17th, 2017 01:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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laviyuufirst dgm fic in half a year is finally up: the weight of you! as I wrote in my other writing journal, the muse struck me yesterday when I was listening to Enough to Go By by Vienna Teng. I actually had a one-paragraph Haikyuu drabble written based on the same song that I was planning to expand, but for some reason I was looking at the lyrics on my music app as it played... and it suddenly struck me how terribly, terribly, Laviyuu the first stanza is.
I'm at your back door
My outline for this fic was simple, and it headwrote itself last night when I was brushing my teeth, so I jotted it all down in my phone right before I went to sleep -
I did minimal beta-reading and editing on this because it was a style I've never used for DGM before - it's my latest writing style so I haven't tried it on DGM dynamics, which can be a challenge and I didn't want to end up overthinking, especially since I actually managed to break the 1000 word mark, which is a considerable amount considering how blocked I've been recently.
Although, I guess people would argue that 'writing a fic a day' is hardly being blocked, but it's a slow and agonising process...
the weight of you only took one hour and a bit to finish, and this was definitely helped by the fact that I already had the themes and ideas I needed. I originally planned to start the story in a totally different manner - chronological order, according to that outline above - and wrote the beginning two paragraphs on my phone, but when I sat down to write earlier, I realised it would make better sense to fill in the background as I went.
the main challenge I had in writing this was... trying to communicate the vulnerability that Lavi has around Kanda. I like to think that Lavi got under Kanda's skin, but the reverse is also true - Kanda is Lavi's kryptonite.
that Lavi would break the rules for Kanda, whether in the past or in the present - that was something I really wanted to explore. he broke the rules by bidding farewell to Kanda that last time as himself, as a friend/with benefits/whatever they are and not in the capacity of a Bookman, just as Kanda requested. he broke the rules by accepting that metal button off of Kanda's uniform coat (which I didn't specifically describe, but I hope got conveyed). he broke the rules by making a promise to Kanda, when a Bookman should leave no traces.
and even now, in the present, he is still breaking the rules - entering the abandoned Order grounds, in search of a demon he should have laid to rest ten years ago when Lavi returned to Bookman Junior. even now he is holding on to that metal button, holding on to a memory he should have abandoned once he stopped being an Exorcist.
it's also worth a mention, I think, that I fretted much less about Lavi's voice here, in comparison to my Haikyuu fics. even though I last properly wrote him in December, I didn't really have to worry much about characterisation and stuff, and I'm not sure if that means I can write him off the top of my head, or what. in comparison my Haikyuu fics always give me lowkey anxiety over character voices and personality, so I... don't know.
I'm at your back door
With the earth of a hundred nations in my skin
You wouldn't recognize me
For the light in my eyes is strange
It was years ago, god knows
When you strained to tell me your whole truth
That you were not mine to save
Ngl when I registered the lyrics I kind of short-circuited, because I've been listening to this song pretty regularly this past month - like almost every day? But I'd never realised how suitable they were for Laviyuu. Maybe it was because I already demarcated this as a muse for the Haikyuu ship, and maybe it was because I was thinking more about Laviyuu yesterday in light of the new chapter that I finally drew the link.My outline for this fic was simple, and it headwrote itself last night when I was brushing my teeth, so I jotted it all down in my phone right before I went to sleep -
- Kanda gives lavi a momento to remember him by, lavi doesn't want to take it but at the look on kanda's face he relents
- Years later he's passing by the order's old HQ and thinks of kanda, pays kanda('s gravestone/favourite lookout spot) a visit. Wonders if kanda's Ashes were scattered there; the Order doesn't bury its people.
- Thinks to himself - he'll carry kanda's legacy, his pain and all his heroics with him. He'll tell kanda's story for him.
I did minimal beta-reading and editing on this because it was a style I've never used for DGM before - it's my latest writing style so I haven't tried it on DGM dynamics, which can be a challenge and I didn't want to end up overthinking, especially since I actually managed to break the 1000 word mark, which is a considerable amount considering how blocked I've been recently.
Although, I guess people would argue that 'writing a fic a day' is hardly being blocked, but it's a slow and agonising process...
the weight of you only took one hour and a bit to finish, and this was definitely helped by the fact that I already had the themes and ideas I needed. I originally planned to start the story in a totally different manner - chronological order, according to that outline above - and wrote the beginning two paragraphs on my phone, but when I sat down to write earlier, I realised it would make better sense to fill in the background as I went.
the main challenge I had in writing this was... trying to communicate the vulnerability that Lavi has around Kanda. I like to think that Lavi got under Kanda's skin, but the reverse is also true - Kanda is Lavi's kryptonite.
that Lavi would break the rules for Kanda, whether in the past or in the present - that was something I really wanted to explore. he broke the rules by bidding farewell to Kanda that last time as himself, as a friend/with benefits/whatever they are and not in the capacity of a Bookman, just as Kanda requested. he broke the rules by accepting that metal button off of Kanda's uniform coat (which I didn't specifically describe, but I hope got conveyed). he broke the rules by making a promise to Kanda, when a Bookman should leave no traces.
and even now, in the present, he is still breaking the rules - entering the abandoned Order grounds, in search of a demon he should have laid to rest ten years ago when Lavi returned to Bookman Junior. even now he is holding on to that metal button, holding on to a memory he should have abandoned once he stopped being an Exorcist.
it's also worth a mention, I think, that I fretted much less about Lavi's voice here, in comparison to my Haikyuu fics. even though I last properly wrote him in December, I didn't really have to worry much about characterisation and stuff, and I'm not sure if that means I can write him off the top of my head, or what. in comparison my Haikyuu fics always give me lowkey anxiety over character voices and personality, so I... don't know.
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Date: 2020-01-18 02:48 pm (UTC)